God damn it fuck you. FUCK YOU. If I’m upset and screaming, yelling back isn’t going to succeed at making anything better. How about you try fucking listening for once cause you know, there’s obviously an issue bitch.

So lost in this world. I don’t know what I want to do, therefore I have nothing. Nothing to motivate me. Nothing to drive me. I feel like I could be swallowed up by a black hole and it wouldn’t make any difference. I am insignificant.

Being back home is causing the sadness to return. I’m lying in bed right now, consciously thinking about having to take the next breath because I fear that my autonomic system is going to fail. I know you’re supposed to depend on yourself for happiness but there’s only so much you can do that doesn’t depend on others. I need people to be around to be happy but they always fail me too. What in gods name am I supposed to do.

Random blurb for the moment.

I’ve decided that I need to have a job where I move every 1-2 years. And I couldn’t figure out my reasoning until just now. I don’t want to put down roots. I don’t want to get attached. Because with attachment comes pain and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.